• Tackling the 3 Myths of Change

    The 5th of July is for me like the 26th of December is for most - a letdown after the big holiday. What a way to start off this post: a big, fat Debbie Downer statement, huh? :) Every year, spring and summer sort of build up until the culminating American holiday of fireworks and fun, and then back when I was a school aged child, summer slipped away too fast after the 4th of July until the first day of school came knocking at my door. This meant 8+ hour days of sitting indoors under fluorescent lights rather than the endless freedom of forest romping, swimming with my cousins, and smashing tennis balls against my house's brick chimney.

    This year, the 4th of July was so enjoyable - full of a quick and easy breakfast and canoeing with my family (if you read my last post, you'll see I actually took myself up on the relaxing 4th of July activity suggestions I wrote about!) and then a really wonderful and chill get-together with friends. I learned over the course of the day that there are some exciting changes coming for those I hold nearest and dearest over the next year! But if any of you know me, you know I kind of suck at change (even positive change). Let me talk about a few mental myths that I have to fight against every time a new life change comes along.

    Myth #1 It's All Downhill From Here

    This has really given me pause to think a lot today about why dealing with change is so hard. I think to some, like myself, it feels as though when life is going good, this is surely the apex of all happiness, and anything that comes along to steer the course must necessarily result in a lesser happy outcome. But, I have to look back over the course of my life to see that this simply hasn't been the case. There have in fact been many apexes (apices? apicii? :), each one higher than the one before.

    Myth #2 No One Else Will Understand

    I have a tendency to feel, when life passes me something new, that I am the only one who feels the way I do about the change. I don't doubt other people have experienced whatever change I'm experiencing, I just believe I must be the only one that is processing it the way that I am. However, I was reminded again today, though, that I'm not alone in how I feel and there are angels on earth who have just the right things to say when I confide my complicated feelings in them. I have to put aside the temptation to think others may view me differently when I confide because truly, it is in that vulnerability where authentic and lasting friendships are forged.

    Myth #3 I'm Not In Control of Anything

    Unexpected change also reminds me that I'm not the one in control of life. For a Type A personality, those reminders are somewhat difficult to swallow. Control is not an "all or nothing" thing, though; and I have to remind myself often to not think in "all or nothing" terms. Although I'm not in charge of every life change, I am in charge of some. Maybe even many! It is my challenge to take some time to be mindful and really make an inventory of those happy outcomes I can choose that are within my control. This is my meditating thought.

    I'd love to hear further suggestions on what helps you deal with change, so comment below!

  • You might also like

    No comments:

    Post a Comment